Summer has just come! We long for it all the year and then here we are … afraid of it. We are not ready! Because it is time to undress, to show ourselves, to go out more often, to meet people. We are not fit, we get sad. We are afraid of the other people’s judgment because we know we are not so fit as a top model. So, we commonly tent to hate ourselves and shut ourselves away.
Strongly influenced by common stereotypes, we feel disheartened and sullen when summertime comes. We start trying on all our clothes, we compare ourselves withthe skinny women we can see in the media-we have already lost the game: we are inadequate, unpresentable. We start discrediting our body even more. We take care of our physical appearance less and less: we wear trousers and loose T-shirts all the time. We wear our hair in a ponytail because it is hot. We don’t even depilate and as we don’t wear shorts or skirts, and surely, we are not going to go to the swimming pool, or to the beach. Sandals are banned, and every centimeter of our skin must be covered. We turn down all the invitations, most of all the ones during the day: we feel embarrassed by everything which requires light clothes, to cope with high temperatures. So, no swimming pools, no beaches, no mountain walks, no bicycle rides. We don’t care about healthy food anymore and, in our self-seclusion, we have our favorite comfort food: very rich in calories, soft, and sweet. Ice-creams and sweet snacks become our best friends because nothing may be worse than this. For this year, we have missed the appointment with our beauty, but in September we are going to work hard to look after our health to get fit.
A lot of women isolate and put them down during the summer: they get angrier and angrier with themselves. Lack of self-confidence makes them think they are ugly. They refuse their body, they feel deeply ashamed of it. They are defeated by suffering and repulsion. And they can’t express all their feelings: they never speak to anybody about their anguish. They smile, they get even sarcastic with some sharp jokes about their own physical appearance as they want to prevent other people from doing so. they want to keep the situation under control. The obsession with hiding their hated shapes turns into an ordeal. Their clothes become a kind of black armor which hides them. They want to be unnoticed, invisible to restrict every social intercourse. They avoid all the places where they can meet people: meetings are distressing moments of judgement. Of course,they think that if they are not beautiful, they are of no value. On the contrary, some women are brave and don’t care about their condition, they don’t want to shut themselves away: anyway, their smug attitude is a mask: their inner suffering is hidden but yet huge. Someone even hurts herself: it is a kind of punishment. Someone else might show dangerous behaviors: alcohol, drugs, or promiscuous relationships.
If you have had the same experience, it is time to think about how expensive is to feed this terrible picture of yourself. The cruel belief of being of no value, ugly, lazy, shapeless, dirty is just unwholesome and dangerous. You will fall ill. It is a boulder hanging around your neck, it will sink you. It will make you feel unhappy, different, lost, and desperate. It will weaken your abilities and skills, your willpower, and your zest of life.
You can’t cure what you don’t love. Beauty is just the result of taking care of your health. It is the lushness of your bio-physical system, harmony, balance, and joy of being part of life. If you attack yourself, you hurt yourself: the damage is biological too. You harm your cells, your organs. A bad opinion about yourself undervalues you, humiliates you, and may lead you to destructive behaviors and attitudes. Taking care of yourself means attention, affection, promptness to satisfy your needs, smiles, and tenderness. The others can’t take care of you, you can’t transfer it! You are responsible for it. You make your own decisions. You can use your strengths to cure yourself or waste it. If you don’t feel well, if your body is suffering, you have to look for better conditions of life. You don’t need tyrant, you need a suitable therapeutic procedure. You can do it, you must do it.
How can you take it up? Now, not in September. Make an effort: give up fighting against yourself, give up complaining. Start looking after yourself now, work hard to implement your inner, emotional, mental strengths. Do you think you can’t do it?i promise: it is not like that as you have a very important human power: resilience. It is a mental and emotional strength which let you face properly difficulties and stress. It is not something extraordinary. But keep in mind: resilience does not mean no sufferings, no difficulties no effort; it means to accept them. Don’t give up, accept them, they play an important part in life; don’t let them stop you. They are just tiles of life’s jigsaw puzzle you have to go beyond. Don’t sabotage yourself, don’t feel down, and tell yourself: is my body suffering? Do I feel bad? Is my weight out of control? Well. I will have to work hard and actively to improve my health.
Don’t shut yourself away: loneliness makes your depressive moods more serious, and a chain reaction will be activated: your immune defence will go down, your guts will lose balance, you will feel your stomach bulging, you will sleep badly and you will be always looking for high calorie foods. You will get stuck in your negative ideas. On the contrary, you need to meet people, to spend your time outdoor, you need to move around. Ask yourself: “How are you?” and give yourself an answer. You have to learn to ask for help, and you will realize that there are a lot of us who are sharing the same feelings, who are experiencing the same failures: we all have the same fears. You are not an alien: you are a woman who has some female problems. Change your point of you and face them.
The time has come. Rise up against that old stereotype according to which our body is some goods to sell in the “social market”: attractiveness is not the only parameter to evaluate someone. Don’t you think so? Do you really think that your size may tell who you are? Do you actually choose your best friends who you share your sorrow with, the friends you go on holiday with, the ones you want to invite to your birthday party, according to their size? The market lives on our fears: it makes us feel afraid and then it gives us suitable redemptive solutions (goods).Beauty is a not a size, it is the devotion to our inner self, the hard work we do to reach the most dynamic expression of our life. We are beautiful when we enjoy life, when we release our potentialities, our skills, our talents. We have to feel well in our skin, we have to master our psychical and spiritual skills. We have to be proud of what we are.